strange terrain

I'm currently listening to the new Circa Survive album. I should be working on my economics homework. I have no motivation whatsoever to do it. These past few weeks have been very stressful. Thank god for this past weekend.
Before I went to Eastern my self-esteem took quite the beating. I was lead to believe that I was well-liked and was headed in the direction of dating someone.
I know I said I'm thankful to not be as damaged as others, but I'm still damaged. And with every bad moment, I grow even more damaged. I feel even more hopeless.

However,
I will not take the blame for this one. Everyone's heard the story. They don't think I should be beating myself up as much as I am. They don't understand why I care this much. They aren't believing all the excuses I made for you, and all the conclusions I came to. They are having the greatest difficulty wondering why it's all over you.

This past weekend I drove down to Eastern to visit Christina one last time. She graduates this semester. I truly admire her work ethic. She's getting shit done. The weekend was filled with friends, Chubby's, Beer Olympics, more alchohol, and lots of memories. Being at Eastern always reminds me to be thankful that I've lived the life I live. I could never be at that school. And I could never imagine my life had I decided to stick it out.

Tuesday, Candice came home to visit. This is gonna sound cheesy and ridiculous but it was an amazing feeling to hug my best friend again. I've been good at hiding it but it has been extremely difficult without her here all the time. I'm sure anyone can imagine seeing someone almost EVERYDAY for 5 months and then putting 1200 miles in between each other. I was so happy to see her for nearly a whole day. It felt like old times. Hopefully I'll be able to see her again before she goes back to FL. If not...June 1st. So excited!

For now I'll say goodnight and try to finish my homework. Let's re-phrase that...START and FINISH my homework.