It's happening...

Sunday is an hour away from being over. Bring Monday on! I hope it goes by so quickly I don't know what hit me. I've finally started packing. I already have 6 pairs of shoes packed. No bueno. haha but it's okay. Thanks to my mr. potato head training, I can pack that shit TIGHT! So far I picked up one shift at Pooh's Corner. And I'm so stoked about it! Remember when I hated that place? Now I can't wait to work there. Crazy how life is sometimes.

I'm not letting the outcome of my semester ruin this trip. I'm convinced that the outcome of my semester proves that I should of extended my program. But at the same time, while I should have extended, I'm glad I came home. I got to meet so many people that I don't think I would have if I stayed. One person in particular, that I know for a fact I would have never met had I stayed, he however could probably live without me. It sucks feeling that way. To be attracted to someone who couldn't really care for you.

Our new assistant manager Krista started at our store last week and we all LOVE HER! She is seriously the biggest breath of fresh air that we all needed. She's so fun, down to earth, and positive! I'm so happy that she works with us.

We all went out to Bourbon Street on Thursday. Me, Krista, Georgia, Sarah, and friends. Fun was had all around. The girls experienced me "WOOF-ing" at a guy for the first time. They loved it. Basically a guy tried to say something to us walking in the parking lot and I woofed at him before he could get a word out. He drove away so fast. bahaha. So try that next time someones bothering you. Garunteed success.

For now, I must try and sleep. I leave you with one of my favorite photos from my program. Pray that tomorrow is a quick one for me. Peace and love.

2 short weeks

In two short weeks (hopefully) I'll be in Orlando. Whenever I think about it a giant smile appears on my face. I forgot the great feeling I get when I smile. I'm happy. I don't even have to close my eyes anymore. I don't even have to think really hard. I can picture it like it's right in front of me. All my happiness. As if it were real...

I'm considering seeking therapy. I need to get to the bottom of all my thoughts. I want to feel normal again.

I take my math final in 45 mintues. Pray for me.

I'm having an epiphany as I speak

Today we had a store meeting for work. At the store meeting we played a trivia game. It was duing this trivia game that I answered the final bonus question correctly and won a cookie cake. No one wanted to share it with me at dinner afterwards so I took it home. I then proceeded to eat too much. Now I'm lying in bed miserable. So from here on out, I'll be eating much healthier. I'm so positive I've weened myself off of sweets for good. This blog is no longer just updates on my life. Its updates on my weight. I'm hoping to lose some. I'm hoping to lose a whole lot. Please pray for me. And wish me luck.

my eyes are glistening with the ghost of my past.

everytime I close my eyes, I see the same things. I'm in Florida with my best friend. We're walking around the parks, downtown, our usual haunts. Everytime I see these things, I'm happy. I guess I should keep my eyes shut then huh?

I go back to Florida for a week in 19 days! This is what I have been dreaming about everyday. I can't focus on school. School has been a giant clusterfuck of stress and pain. I'll be so relieved when the semesters over. I can't wait to let all of my emotions out. Cry myself into exhaustion and sleep. I'll sleep for days.

I have so much to look forward to in Florida
My best friend.
Disney Parks.
I-bar.
Old Friends.
An amazing job.
Disney merch.
Fall Out Boy sing-a-longs.
Fast Food binge eating.
Beautiful weather.
Eye Spy.
Photobooth photoshoots.
Everything.
Being happy.

I can't wait to be happy again. To an outsider I may look happy. I really should be an actress. I'd kill.
I can honestly say that since I've been home I have not honestly said "I love my life." I haven't.

It's thundering outside. I'll be up late writing a paper. How fun.