Thank you...

Thank you for doing all the things that we had planned together....without me. Thank you.

I can't begin to talk about how excited I am for spring. I can't wait to wear dresses again! I can't wait to wake up happy. I can't wait to see the sun! I can't wait to wear my sunglasses while driving with the windows rolled down, blasting my music. I can't wait to make my triumphant return to Orlando. It all just seems like its going by so slow! Its taking forever to get here! I'm not going to Bamboozle this year. And I'm okay with that. I'm very much looking forward to Lollapalooza. I hope Iglu & Hartly plays this year. I'd be very happy. Right now I'm in my math class. My brain is going a mile a minute. There's a lot going on in my life right now. It's all happening so quickly. I'm hoping come Sunday I'll have some time to slow down.

can't be too careful anymore.

who would have ever thought
that you could actually meet someone on the internet.
proceeding with caution.

lost in eastern time.

never in my life have I ever felt so lost and depressed. a part of me wishes I'd never done this college program. I was content with my life. I wasn't as happy as I was when I was in Florida but I was satisfied. I was living for the future. Had I not gone to Florida I could be finishing school on time. I could of kept my job. It's been very difficult transitioning from a warm-weathered, happy enviornment, to a cold and rude town. I've said this before and I'll say it again. I truly believe I am un-happy because of the weather. I just don't know how much longer I can handle being here. and to make matters worse, I am back to a place where I am unsure of what I want to do for the rest of my life. Do I continue to work for a company that I know already makes me happy? or do I continue towards my initial dream and see if I'm happy there? One thing is certain...I'm tired of crying at night.

A month of despair

It's technically be one whole month as of today that I parted ways with the city of Orlando, Walt Disney World, and Vista Way apartment 2503. Upon my arrival to Orland Park of course I was excited. Since August I hadn't held my cat Hershey, slept in my own bed, enjoyed the privacy of a room to myself. I was welcomed with open arms by my mom, who I missed like hella crazy and recieved a beautiful Coach purse. After a few days of un-packing and trying to resume life I headed back to Carson's to begin the process of getting my old job back like I was technically promised. I remember my last week there like it just happened. I was so excited to finish the night and as I said goodbye to everyone all managers I spoke with hoped that if I came home I could come back and work for them. What does that sound like to you? Sounds like an open invite to pick up where I left off upon my return. I guess I thought wrong. While everyone was happy to see me there were aparently no openings for me to work for them. I was left out in the cold. Jobless. It's February 8th and I'm still on the hunt. I had an interview on Wednesday for a key holder position at Rave. I hope I get it. Second interview is later today at 2. Wish me luck!

School has been busting my non-exsistent balls! I'm still functioning on my Orlando sleeping schedule to which I get off work at midnight and go to bed at 3/4 in the morning and don't wake up till noon. Hopefully I turn out some decent grades.

In the mean time, the sooner I get a job, the sooner I can move back to Orlando. The plan is to audition for entertainment. I'm pretty confident I'd make it. My neighbor was a character performer and gave me some great tips. and I didn't take acting and theater for NOTHING! So pending entertaiment acceptance I'll be moving back. Upon denial I'll find a job doing something else. Either way I want to work for Disney! geez that should be a reality show. Like I wanna work for Diddy!

till next time...